Don’t Give up!
Just Keep Swimming.
ps – if you missed my post at the Traditional Love blog yesterday…you can read it here: Sex Advice to my Younger Self
The Marry Blogger has Moved!
I wanted to let you know that I am still writing about marriage and relationships It just happens that it is at my personal site: StuGray.com
Please hop over there and keep up to date with our writing about marriage and healthy relationships!!
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{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }
I have enjoyed reading through your blog! this Dori clip is one of our kid’s favorite characters! Great motivation for our marriages!
I dunno, Stu….I guess every marriage has to be looked at individually…which is why a blanket statement like “when x happens…” can’t apply, and neither can “just keep swimming.” It’s all very gray.
Still, I love love love your site.
Thats a good word JD – and I think you are right on. Thanks for the comment!
Stu,
I like the Dori philosophy. I like simple. We need more encouragement as to how to keep on swimming, swimming through turbulent water, how to make the most of your swim, etc. Many in today’s society including Christians have bought the idea that marriage is a contract rather than a covenant. With that mindset, they look for the ways to avoid swimming, or what to do when swimming gets too tough, etc. Not only are they looking for loopholes, they make things more complicated than they need to be.
I generally think in our culture we give up on marriage too easily. I do believe there are situations in which a person needs to care for themselves because they are in danger…in those cases, I think it might be ok. But to make blanket statements like – “when x happens it is ok to give up , when x happens it’s not ok” – is a dangerous thing. Each marriage is different, and has different dynamics. I can’t say for sure if one should give up until I would have time with the couple!! Even then, its not up to me.
That’s why I like to encourage couples to keep on keeping on – to learn to be better people, to get help for their stuff and fight for their marriages!
Thanks for the comment – it really made me think about what I believe for marriage!
I agree with Stu. It can be too easy to justify giving up. After all, everyone else seems to be doing it.
The trick is to not allow your marriage to get to the point where a major fix is required. Always be working at strengthening your bond by regularly expressing your love in a variety of ways.
Try a note under the pillow, message on a cake, a surprise this or that, etc. Do things to make your spouse happy without expecting anything in return.
Thanks for the comment Jo! I love the ‘little things’ ideas…simple, small, but easy to do frequently…enough to show your love for your spouse – and remind yourself of the good feelings you have for your mate!
Hey Stu. I only visit on occasion so i may be taking this post out of context but don’t you think there are times when it’s OK to give up? When, say, your spouse is abusive? When you and your spouse are unequally yoked? Interested to hear your perspective; but i believe that we develop certain habits in relationships that sometimes can’t be changed and/or too much damage has occured for us to continue.