I hate camping. The 3 times that I remember camping in my life were rough experiences. Two of them, I was crapped on by birds. Not metaphorically. Literally. Once on the shoulder, and once on the head.
The third camping experience was with the Boy Scouts. I had gone with our troop to the Boy Scout camp – my dad wasn’t able to get there ’til later. We set up tents to sleep in. And that is when the rain started. It wasn’t bad for a while. But the lightning and thunder started making us anxious.
We started touching the roof of the tent to see if the water would seep thru. It wasn’t the best idea, because it did. Water was coming thru the tent flap, and now the roof too, so one of the dads suggested that we get our stuff and go to his car. It was me, 4 other guys, and a friends dad. I don’t remember the model of car, but I remember I was wedged together in the backseat with 4 other guys. When we woke up the next morning (That was my first experience with neck pain and I was not even a teen) my dad hopped out of our van and said he had been there all night. “We should have piled in”. Of course.
The Camping Principle
I first heard Gary Smalley talk about what I call “the Camping Principle” last fall when the beautiful wife™ and I went to one of his conferences here in Middle Tennessee. He mentions it in detail in his book Love Is A Decision
He says camping experiences are “designed disasters”. Things go wrong. Birds crap on you. Not metaphorically. Literally. You destroy tents, you get wedged in a car – you name it, bad stuff happens. It’s like the movie RV. But, apparently, if you don’t die – or kill each other in the process, you actually get closer to the people you share the experience with.
You get home from the trip, and you don’t talk about it for a couple days. Then you begin to think about it – start to talk about it with your family – and it begins to be humorous. You begin to laugh – because you have been through a struggle – and it draws you closer together.
Disasters allow you to bond. These disasters become part of the fabric of your story together. (Perhaps that is why the Vacation movies are brilliant)
Camping is just one example. If we allow them to…Tough times and situations draw us closer to the people we are in relationship with.
Have you had your own camping (or similar) experience that allows you to bond with your spouse?
photo by stevejb68
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Hey Dustin – Thanks! Yeah – “Camping” doesn't apply to everyone – but the bigger principle behind it is what I thought was awesome. But when Gary mentioned Camping – man I immediately related!!!
My wife and I happen to love camping, but when I read your (awesome) post I was immediately reminded of our terrible times canoeing. We love float trips, but we learned early in our relationship that we do NOT do well at trying to control the same canoe. After many tip overs and crashes, we were exhausted and more than a little tired of each other. Now we look back at these trips and share a great laugh. We totally bonded through the adversity!
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