Learning About Marriage While Walking

Our neighbor across the street walks most days. I see him on various streets, at various times and various states of  (un)dress in our neighborhood. Walking. Something inside me always thinks I should be doing that too.

So, I started this week.

After two days and two walks, God has started teaching me some things about my marriage.

Learning About Marriage While Walking

I don’t have to be so serious in my marriage

There were several times on my walks when I stopped and just enjoyed the stuff around me. Colored leaves, acorns, some random ball-like-seed-things that smelled like pine, a rock that was in the middle of the sidewalk, ripe for kicking. A huge pile of leaves, ripe for stomping.

I get wrapped up in being ‘an adult’. In being serious. I take myself and my marriage too seriously sometimes. Yes, I believe my marriage is the most important worldly relationship I have…but I still take it too seriously.

As Michael Shevack says in his book Adam & Eve: Marriage Secrets from the Garden of Eden (amazon link) – ‘Always Remember, you are dust’. Remember Genesis 2:7?

I forget to be humble, because I take myself so seriously. I start to think that the whole story is about me. A good way to cure myself from seriousness is playfulness. I need to play more in my marriage.

Pay attention to my wife and her life

I went to a local shopping center for one of my walks. I didn’t ‘power walk’ inside the mall, I walked around outside. I had no idea that the main street by this mall had sidewalks. It has huge trees lining one side, so I just assumed trees and grass covered the whole area. I was wrong. I hadn’t paid any attention before.

Over time, if I am not careful, I start assuming that I know my wife better than I do. I believe I know how she’ll answer questions, or assume that she’ll always respond a certain way. I take her for granted.

I stop paying attention to little things because I believe my blanket assumptions are just as correct as they were a month ago, or yesterday.

Pain is temporary in walking and marriage

As I was making my way back towards the mall, I started to get a pain in the ball of my foot. It was cramping. Hard.  I felt like I was done. Maybe I should turn around and go back to the car. Call it a day.

Then I had another thought. Just breathe through it. Breathe into the pain. Imagine your breathe going straight to the pain. As I turned the corner, it had stopped hurting.

Breathing is a good thing when pain happens. Especially when your conversation with your spouse gets heated. The cool thing is that pain is only temporary. You might have scars and battle wounds, but you can make it through the pain. If you focus on the pain, it will kill your journey.

You both have to say – Yes it hurts, yet we are going on together.

It takes work and you’ll be winded if you haven’t done it for a while.

Walking is a low maintenance exercise, but I still was tired. My legs were hurting a bit — Yeah I know — I sound whiny.

The point is – if you get out of habit – It’s going to feel like harder work. You’ll feel the pain of getting back into the routine.

It happens when you stop communicating or having sex, or whatever you are dodging or not doing right now in your marriage… getting back into it is going to be work. But it gets better if you keep at it.

God has been here the whole time

My personal time with God has been on the lax side lately. Ok, I’ll be honest — the past couple years. For some reason, after I read the Bible all the way through about 5 years ago, I can’t make myself spend any time in it – other than following along during a teaching or looking something up. (any ideas on this one on how to get back in the habit? Don’t tell me “Daily Reading” chart! I’ve tried. Fail.)

Walking has given me a couple minutes to reconnect with God to tell him what’s going on with me. It’s given me time to be quiet and listen. I’m looking forward to more of this time for my relationship with Him.

My personal belief is that the closer I am to God, the better my relationship with my wife will be. Things seem to line up better that way.

photo by .craig

Tagged as: hearing from God, talking to God, walking is good exercise