Love is not only something you feel. It is something you do.
–David Wilkerson
I believe actions precede feelings.
Love the VERB needs to come before Love the NOUN.
That means we need to be doing loving things…and as we continue to act in love, loving feelings will return.
Here are 10 Ways to Ignite Passion With Love Actions:
One of the best ways to reconnect with your spouse is to turn off the TV. When you sit in front of the boob tube, you aren’t connecting with each other, even if you are sitting together. The TV produces a zombie like state where you don’t really have to engage with anything.
An easy way to reengage with your husband or wife is to turn off the television and do one of the other items on this list!
The first book my Beautiful Wife™ and I read together was the Purpose Driven Life (amazon link). She would read a chapter in the morning, I would read the chapter in the afternoon, and we would talk with each other about what we were learning, or thinking about the specific topics.
Purpose Driven Life is an easy read, and easy to discuss. I believe that it is important to be able to discuss what you are reading together.
When you looking for books to read together, try to pick something that has ‘readable’ chapters for your schedule and has main points that you can talk about. When discussing a chapter, remember the point is to connect with your spouse and see what they took from the book, not to argue whose point is right.
3. Listen to each other deeply
Listening is active, not passive. Listening includes responding well. Head nods. Uh-huh’s and yes’s. Not being distracted. Asking for clarification. Being interested in the other person. Leaning in to the other person. Doing number4 on this list.
4. Ask questions
This is part of listening deeply, but can also be used to start conversation. There are all types of questions you can ask.
I am not talking about “Did you take the trash out today?” I am talking about questions that will enable you to connect with your spouse. Make sure the questions aren’t accusatory in nature, and that you really listen to the answers and aren’t too quick to judge! The point is to connect with your spouse.
There are even books you can buy that have questions in them!(amazon links)
5. Love notes
Leave them in places around the house. Make it a game with one another. When one person finds one, that person leaves another to be found. It can be a continual fun thing you do with your honey.
6. Massages
Non sexual or sexual – physical touch between spouses help fan the flame of passion in your marriage. If he or she has had a rough day, offer a back rub – with no hint of sex involved.
7. More Kisses
Ladies love the affection. Find more times to kiss. Spend a couple more seconds during your kiss. Try to have a 20 second kiss every day. That gets the passion flowing!
8. Enjoy simple things together
Walks, sunsets, a smile from your child, dinner together, going to the store. Mundane everyday things. Step back and think about what life would be like if you weren’t experiencing it with your mate.
9. Hugs
Hug more during the day. Hug in front of the kids. Hug in the grocery store. Make sure you hug before you go to work, and first thing when you get home. Combine some hugs with number 7 above.
10. Pick up a hobby together
Some dance. Some ride motorcycles. Some look at open houses. Some join the Red Cross. Do something together. Something that you can work at together, grow together and be involved in together.
What Love Actions have you used to ignite the spark in your marriage?
