Notice The Good Things in Your Marriage

In my neighborhood, the fire hydrants are blue and yellow.

Yellow Bodies, Blue Tops.

I had never noticed before until my kiddo, all of 3 years old, blurts from the back seat as we rounded a corner in our subdivision:

“Dad, Whats that?”

“Whats what, kiddo?”

“The Blue And Yellow?”

“Blue and Yellow? Oh, you mean the fire hydrants?”

“Fiydrants. Yes.”

I had never consciously noticed them before.

But that day, the kiddo noticed, and taught me something about paying attention to the small details.

You know that sensation when you start to notice something, it then seems like it is EVERYWHERE? Like when you buy that brand spanking new Blue VW Jetta, All of a sudden you notice EVERY SINGLE Blue VW Jetta?

We found every single fire hydrant we could after that. There were yellow hydrants, some silver hydrants, some were red. He noticed and pointed out all of them.

Have a Better Marriage. Stop the Negative Vomit.

Are you quick to point out all the faults in your mate?
Do you berate and belittle?
Do you nag and complain?

It’s very easy once you get going with negative thoughts to get those thoughts stuck in your mind. Just like we started to notice every fire Hydrant, we can start to notice every negative thing that might come up.

You begin to notice he doesn’t pick up the socks. Leaves the seat up. No cap on the toothpaste.

Then you notice more and more little things. You begin to think – “oh they don’t care” – “how could they be so insensitive?”

Perhaps this is a time to talk with your spouse about their habits. Now, If you are a guy, you usually don’t say anything, and then something inside snaps, and all this pent up negativity spews all over.

Like negative vomit. (is there such a thing as positive vomit?)

Once the vomit valve is opened up, its difficult to get it shut off. Perhaps you should have talked about your spouses habits before the negative stuff started spewing all over.

Have a Better Marriage. Notice the Good Things

What about noticing positive things in your marriage?

There has to be something that your spouse is doing that you enjoy and can encourage!

Whatever the smallest thing that is positive is, why not draw attention to it?
Point out that you liked it and thought it was wonderful. The next day, find something else that you can notice and enjoy and speak positively about.

Build on the small things, until speaking positively to your mate becomes more natural and part of your life.

SOMETIMES THE POSITIVE IS HARD TO FIND

Yes, it will be difficult to begin, especially if the vomit valve is on “full hurl”.
But take the time to notice. Pay attention. Don’t just tune out until something negative happens (or something positive isn’t achieved), and then let loose the virulent vomit.

If you slow down to notice the positive things and not just the negative, it could really be a great thing for your marriage.