Batting 1000

“The professional baseball player who hits consistently over .300 will make millions, but the husband who bats .800 in all that he does may still strike out in bed…” – Dr. Earl Henslin

Ever heard the phrase “Batting a Thousand”? It means getting everything right, or being “perfect”. The term comes from baseball. I do not claim to be a super huge baseball fan, football is more my game — even then I am a fair weather fan — I still think this is a great point for our marriages.

Stay with me here… lets say a baseball player gets up to hit 10 times in a game. Every time he is at the plate, he hits the ball (which would be 10 times), in baseball terms, that would be batting 1000 (or 1.000).  That means – in Dr. Henslin’s quote above – the players who make millions, are only hitting 3 times out of ten. Yet, they are still superstars.  Put another way… they strike out 7 out of 10 times… yet, they are still a success.

What does your husband have to “score” with you to score in the bedroom?

Then there is the other number in Dr. Henslin’s quote. Your hubby might do 8 out of 10 things right around your house, but he still doesn’t get that home run in the bedroom. Why is that?

No, I don’t know your situation. But I would love for you to give this idea a chance. Here it comes. Are you ready?

Maybe you need to lower your expectation of your husbands perfection before you decide to have sex with him. I know. Thats a tough one. ‘he doesn’t do this’, or ‘he doesn’t do that’… ‘Stu, you don’t know about my relationship’… I know, I know.

But let me offer some thoughts:

Today is always a good day to begin working on your marriage. – That means stepping up and being responsible for your marriage. Your husband may not be perfect, but loving him into better behavior isn’t a bad thing (isn’t that what God did for us? Look up Romans 5:8!)

Look for his positive traits. There are things that he does that you do love (or at least, like). I heard a great tool for remembering positive traits is simply taking a piece of paper and listing the positive traits in your spouse. Carry it with you for a month, and everyday, take it out and say thanks to God for everyone of the good traits in your spouse. Try it and see what it does in your marriage!

Lower Your Expectations. We live in a culture that values performance. We always expect the best and brightest things. We then bring that expectation into our marriage, and expect the very best performance from our spouse before we are willing to perform. What if, instead of expecting them to perform well, we in turn, just loved them well…without expecting anything in return. That would be mind blowing wouldn’t it?

Coach him in your desires and needs. No, I’m not talking about nagging. I am talking about sitting down together and having a real conversation, not a snip session where nothing gets accomplished. If you sit together, make eye contact, and say ‘hey, I would love for you to do x, y, and z, that would help me feel loved by you’, that would (hopefully) put a fire in a man’s step to step up. What guy, when given a list doesn’t love to check off every item???

I’m not saying to give him a free run around the bases. I think he SHOULD be hitting at least a .300. If he’s not, perhaps you need to be taking another step in your marriage (perhaps talking to a pastor, counselor or coach).

But if Hubby has a .300 average, help him feel like a superstar player (or playa) in the bedroom!

Here’s to a home run for you tonight!

PS – This isn’t just a message for Wives…We guys have just as many expectations that we bring to the relationship as well…so, husbands don’t think you’re off the hook, these ideas can easily be applied to us as well !!

photo by Trev Stair

Tagged as: baseball and marriage, scoring with your wife