Love and War by John and Stasi Eldredge

“Maybe we ought to just start this book here: Marriage is fabulously hard.” – John and Stasi Eldredge

Title: Love and War

Authors: John and Stasi Eldredge

The Big Picture:

Love and War is a look at marriage through the eyes of two great writers who captivate mind and heart with the stories from their marriage, and mental images that they present. If you have read ‘Wild at Heart’,'Epic’, or ‘Captivating’ by John Eldredge, you might be able to relate to what I mean.

John and Stasi Eldredge write individually about their marriage (there are clear distinctions between the two) and the things they have learned thru 25 years together, and nearly two divorces. The book is clearly ‘Eldredge’ — I mean that in a good way — they make many references to themes the have covered in other books like: “Strength and Beauty”, The man’s desire to be believed in, to have someone to share an adventure with and a beauty to join with him., a woman’s desire to be known, to have someone to share life with, and to be able to lean on for strength.

They cover several ideas about marriage that are important to recognize:

We live in a love story (God’s story) but the setting is a war. (They claim if more married couples would recognize this fact, their marriages could very well take a turn for the better!)
Companionship is essential to a healthy marriage
We need each other – we weren’t made to do life alone, or just ‘play house’. Since an Epic battle is going on – we have to recognize that the enemy wants to tear up marriages and has done a pretty good job of it.
Our spouse isn’t the enemy.
Our relationship has a mission. Not only do I have a mission, and my spouse as well, but our marriage does too.

Stop for a moment, right now, and think about what is hard in your marriage. How have you been interpreting that? Have you blamed your spouse? Yourself? Have you just accepted it with resignation? What about Satan? Have you considered his part in it?…the more we seek to play our roles in the Larger Story of God, the more intense the opposition becomes. It is a fact of life, though the opposition continues to surprise and dismay the people of God who ought to know better. – John and Stasi Eldredge

Favorite things about Love and War:

I enjoyed reading Love and War because it reminded me how much I liked reading Wild at Heart and Epic (both by John Eldredge). John likes to help his readers by associating the ‘big story’ of God with other “littler” stories that we can relate to – like movies and fairy tales. I enjoy that because it makes the principles sink in a bit clearer, and it shows me how much we relate to the story of God in all the stories we, as humans, tell.

Marriage is a submarine with Cinderella and Huck Finn shut inside. How do we keep from mutiny? From knifing one another? – John and Stasi Eldredge

Other related reads you might enjoy:

Wild at Heart: Discovering the Secret of a Man’s Soul

Captivating: Unveiling the Mystery of a Woman’s Soul

Epic: The Story God Is Telling

What can I apply to my marriage right away:

*Apply prayer to your marriage – not just “requests from God” – but active prayer involving prayer for your spouse, covering for your marriage, home and family, asking for guidance, binding attacks from the enemy, and listening for God to speak. So often, prayer is an afterthought – if it is a thought at all.

*Find areas where you can be companions…find common interests so you can enjoy life with each other – not live separate lives under one roof.

The Big Wrap up:

I enjoyed this book from John and Stasi Eldredge, and would highly recommend it for anyone who enjoys other books by John Eldredge. There were a couple chapters where I was yearning for some more detail – I felt that some points were not developed as much as I would have enjoyed. This might be explained by the fact that the book is also a small group guide – and they would like you purchase those resources (at some point). That’s not all bad, but I could have read several more pages of helpful examples in the book itself.

Where to find your copy of this book: Love and War

I think we all look for love to come in dramatic ways. We know love is powerful and beautiful. How come it doesn’t feel like it? Love plays itself out in what seems like such unremarkable ways — you pick up your socks, you ignore her snarky comment, you put the toilet seat down. But this is exactly what makes it epic — the fact that love plays itself out in a thousand little choices, unseen and without supporting soundtrack. That is what makes it so beautiful. – John and Stasi Eldredge

This was book was provided for review by WaterBrook Multnomah. Links in this post are affiliate links, which means I will earn a little bit if you click on them!

A very special e-book will be released this week (Tuesday) called Love Everyday. It features some of the best relationship writers on the web right now. Make sure you download your copy as soon as its available, and invite your friends to grab a copy too!