God Knows Marriage Isn’t Always Easy: Book Review

Title – God Knows Marriage Isn’t Always Easy: 12 Ways to Add Zest

Author – Maureen Rogers Law and Lanny Law

Basic Plot

God Knows Marriage Isn’t Always Easy: 12 Ways to Add Zest is a helpful guide for couples to work out some of the simple and not so simple roadblocks that crop up in any marriage. In our work as Psychotherapists, we have helped others – not to mention ourselves – use these twelve ways to improve their relationships…

In this quick read, Maureen and Lanny Law travel through 12 different ways to help better your marriage relationship. Each of the ’12 ways to add zest’ have their own chapters:

1. Meet and Do Things Together

2. Accept Similarities and Differences in Each Other

3. Strive to Understand Each Other

4. Choose to Feel Each Others Emotions

5. Mindfully Nurture Your Love

6. Make Your Relationship Priority Number One

7. Delight One Another With Touch

8. Consciously Balance Togetherness and Uniqueness

9. Help One Another

10. Resolve Conflicts Before They Get Worse

11. Readily Forgive and Reconcile if Possible

12. Share each other’s joys and sorrows

Each chapter is filled with great quotes on love, marriage, and relationships (specific to the chapter topic) plus case studies from couples that the authors have worked with, or stories from their own marriage and families.

Nestled in the middle of each chapter are action steps, or questions to ask your mate, or discussion starters for each topic. (I really liked the ‘middle of the chapter’ thing – its so predictable when you come to the end of a chapter and there are a handful of questions that you are supposed to work through)

The book moves quickly, and they have done a great job matching the marriage stories with each of the topics.

How does it compare with other books in the genre?

To be honest, I found the book at the library, and checked it out once previously. I am a multiple book reader, so when a book caught my attention with a little more depth, this book was put on hold. I had to check the book out again with the specific intention to read with a review in mind.

Once I made it into the book, I was pleasantly surprised with the material covered. Its a quick easy read, and the discussion starters for most of the chapters are decent for at least getting you (the reader) thinking, even if you don’t go so far as to add your mate to the conversation (even though you should – thats the point isn’t it?!!)

What can I use right away in my marriage?

*Make a list of the ways your partner blesses your life – Share that list with them

* The 1 to 10 scale of decision making. Use this question to gauge where your mate is on certain decisions…’On a scale of 1 to 10 where are you on X topic? (on a scale of 1 to 10 would you like Mexican tonight for dinner?)

Then you decide where each of you are on the scale, and gauge if the feelings are mutual, or if someone needs to adjust. It seems like this tool would ease some of the burden of non-communication. It would even give a married couple that does not communicate well about S-E-X a great way to ease into conversation without as much pressure.

If you like this you will probably like…

Sacred Sex by Tim Alan Gardner

If I had to read just one chapter I would read:

Chapter 8. Balancing Togetherness and Uniqueness

*An Imbalance occurs in marriage when one person’s interests consistently receive priority treatment. Two questions help us seek a balance: What do I need and desire in my life and relationship with you? What do you need and desire in your life and relationship with me?

When one focuses too much on what one needs (question one) there is a tendency to become selfish. When one focuses too much on the other person’s needs (question two), there is a tendency to lose oneself…

…The goal in “balancing” is for the needs and interests of both partners to be considered equally valuable in the marital relationship.

I believe that many of the chapters relate to this one topic – The balance of being together, but still being unique.

It is easy to get so wrapped up in our mate that we lose ourselves. But the other extreme happens as well, where you have nothing in common and live completely separate lives under the same roof.

This chapter helps address these issues in a healthy manner, and leads the reader to really think through their marriage communication, and their boundaries.

The Big Wrap Up:

I enjoyed God Knows Marriage Isn’t Always Easy. There are great discussion starters, and the stories are easy to understand and relate to.

If you would like a quick read to jump start your marriage, this one is an easy entrance point into beginning work on your marriage.