Learning Affection from a Dog

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog – Ambrose Bierce

I think all dogs are just naturally affectionate. As much as our black and white mutt, Boo, drives me crazy because she seems to always be right under my feet, she sheds like crazy, and she farts when she sleeps – she is still one of the most affectionate creatures around. As we continue to think about affection, I thought about our dog Boo. What can we learn from her?

Learning Affection From a Dog

1. Dogs Are Always Happy To See You. How often do we take our spouse for granted..Walking past them as we come home from work? Ignoring them when they come home from the store? We don’t have to make a big production. Our dog Boo meets us at the door with her tail wagging.

2. Dogs Like To Show You What They Found. Not only does she meet us at the door, she is always carrying a toy that belongs to my son (we have to work on that whole ‘put-your-toys-up-before-we-leave’ thing!). Clamming up about your day isn’t the best option. Conversation is a vital form of affection. It may not seem like it – especially to us guys – but we need to get past our OWN need, and meet the need of our spouse.

3. Dogs Wag Their Tails When You Talk To Them. I love the Far Side cartoon with the owner talking to his dog and all she understands is blah blah blah, Ginger. Even if the only thing we understand in the conversation is our name, we should be an enthusiastic listener. Listening is a full body sport. It starts at the top and works its way down. Ears. We have two. Use them. Eye Contact. Nods of the head are great. Turn the frame of your body (shoulders, chest, arms) toward your spouse. Lean in to create intimacy, and to acknowledge that you are paying attention.

4. Dogs like to be in your space. What happened to actually enjoying being in the same space – or the same room (other than the bedroom?) together? I am guilty of missing this one alot. I like to have my own space. Since I work from the home, it is easy to escape to my studio where I can work, or mess around on Facebook, or tweak this blog. You have to gauge this between the two of you, but sharing the same space is pretty important for affection to happen.

5. Dogs are excellent with the sloppy wet kisses. Whenever I get in Boo’s face, the tongue automatically comes out(not mine – hers). What if we made kissing a natural of a habit? Whenever you were in range – lean down a give a good smooch on the kisser?

6. You add to the list! What other behaviors do dogs have that can help us in our affections toward our spouse?

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{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

dani heileman November 10, 2009 at 3:23 pm

Dogs not only want to be around you…they like to physically touch you. For instance when my Golden Doodle Riley sits beside me, he either lays a leg or two on me or he’s leaning up against me. I think a lot of couples forget about reassuring touch. My fiancee likes to lay his hand on my leg when we are riding in his truck. Not grabbing, not caressing, just a touch. It’s so comforting. I love it.

Stu Gray November 10, 2009 at 7:50 pm: Hey Dani! Thanks for the comment –

SO TRUE! I think physical touch is a huge part of genuine affection. I appreciate you adding to the list! – Stu

dani heileman November 10, 2009 at 9:23 pm

Stu Gray November 11, 2009 at 1:50 am: Hey Dani! Thanks for the comment –

SO TRUE! I think physical touch is a huge part of genuine affection. I appreciate you adding to the list! – Stu

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The Affection of Dogs