Anonymous

This is the internet. (Thank you Mr. Obvious.)

You are hidden behind your keyboard.

Maybe you have left me a comment, or sent me an email. Perhaps you have just browsed by without saying anything at all.

I don’t know who you are or what your situation is.

To be perfectly honest, you don’t know me ‘completely’ either. Sure, I have talked a bit about who I am, and what I have struggled with, but you couldn’t pick me out of a lineup.

We can be anonymous online, but we can’t be anonymous in our marriages.

a-non-y-mous [uh-non-uh-muhs] –adjective

1. without any name acknowledged, as that of author, contributor, or the like: an anonymous letter to the editor; an anonymous donation.

2. of unknown name; whose name is withheld: an anonymous author.

3. lacking individuality, unique character, or distinction: an endless row of drab, anonymous houses.

Lets look at the 3rd Definition here.

Individuality. Character. Distinction.

*You have to be able to be an individual in your marriage, while also being part of a team.*

Two people coming together to be one. God has made this relationship special in the fact that when two, who are individuals, come together fully; they compliment each other.

If you aren’t fully individual, you cripple your marriage by not being a complete person.

If you try to be too much of the other person, you don’t allow the marriage to be all it can be by being ALL OF YOU.

*Marriage requires character and it builds character.*

When I think of good character qualities, I don’t think you can beat Galatians 5:22-23…

God’s Spirit makes us loving, happy, peaceful, patient, kind, good, faithful, gentle, and self-controlled…

Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, self-control…All character qualities that are needed in marriage.

Do I have them all? No. Marriage requires some sort of character as a foundation, and we build these other characteristics throughout our years together.

Perhaps marriage is like an oven.

We start out with the ingredients, and we have to mix them and mold them. And stick em in to cook.

God turns up the heat. And all of these traits are tested, refined and made better.

* Our marriages need to be distinct in nature.*

They are different from any other relationship we have in our life.

They should be encouraging, creative, unique, safe places where we can learn, laugh,talk,cry,have sex, be vulnerable…enjoy one another on several different levels.

Not just a ‘surface level’ like many other relationships.

So, I guess what I am saying is this:

It’s ok to be anonymous here. But take what you learn here, and apply it to your marriage.

Don’t be Anonymous There.

Before you go, answer me this:

Anonymously tell me: What would you like to work on in your marriage?

Anonymously tell me: What would you like to see written about here at the marry blogger?

Comment away anonymously (or not)…contact me with “anon” in the “name” space.

That’s totally cool.

But don’t be anonymous in your marriage.

Show up and be who you are completely.

That’s the only way that it will work.

Photos from exquisitur , Midnight Digital and asalexander

Tagged as: anonymous, character, individuality, Marriage, Marriage Advice, marriage tips, relationships