When it comes to the future there are only three kind of people: those who let it happen, those who make it happen and those who wonder what happened.” – John Richardson, Jr.
GOALS
Sometimes I am really gung ho about goals – setting them – achieving them, other times, I just flail loosey-goosey without them.
For a time, I can be ‘ok’ without a goal, but I always find myself returning to some sort of written out… something. Even if it is a simple ‘to do list’ for the day. Writing it down helps me get things done.
I believe marriages should have vision of where they want to go, and what they want to happen over the years.
Why not write down your goals together and dream big dreams about where you want to be and what you want to do together over the next 75 years of your lives? (My Beautiful Wife™ and I ARE going to live until we are 110!)
Goals Give You Something to Shoot For
People looking to motivate themselves…should decide on their goals and get them down in writing. In order to get properly motivated people should know what their goals are. After getting their goals set, people should plan short-, medium-, and long-term goals. The goals chosen need to be practical and attainable. The goals set should not be so high that they prove to be out of reach. Goals should be written down and should be placed in a spot where they are clearly visible.
from Motivation Secrets
I have written personal goals – 65 of them. They range from visiting Greece to writing a book. Being Porn Free was one of them.
They are personal. And some are pretty self centered.
I asked my Beautiful Wife™ if she has any personal goals that she has written down. She said ‘no’, so I encouraged her to see what she would come up with on her own.
First – to see if any of our goals are similar in nature. And Second – to see where we can merge some of our dreams together and create even better things for our future with one another.
Writing Imprints Goals on Your Mind
One of my favorite pastor-writer-bloggers is Mark Batterson. A couple years back, he did a series on goal setting and what it does to your mind.
He talks about the RAS – the Reticular Activating System… the part of the brain that determines what you notice and what you don’t. When you set goals, you set your brain in motion to notice those things that will help you bring your goal to fruition.
If we don’t have any goals – and if we don’t write them down, we just let life happen to us. But we should be happening to life.
5 Tips for Goal Setting with Your Spouse
1. Write out personal goals individually. Then get together and see if any of the goals are the same, or similar, and can become ‘Husband and Wife Goals’.
2. Break Goals Up Into Categories – Personal, Financial, Spiritual, Giving, Influence, Lifestyle, Travel, Physical, Fitness, Things to Learn, Positions to try (!!), Sites to see, etc… – these are all examples of categories that I have seen – maybe you have a category of your own. When you write your goals down in ‘categories’ – its a bit easier, because it causes you to focus on one specific area.
2. Spend Time Praying About Your Goals…Everything is better with prayer. Maybe God has something totally different, or bigger than you could imagine. Be open to what He has for you and your marriage.
3. Check out some other people, or websites, that have big goal lists for inspiration. John Goddard, Ted Leonsis, Mark Batterson,Bucket List , Dan Meyer… to name a few.
4. From Cultivate Greatness blog: Goals should Challenge You. Be Specific. Written to be achieved Step by Step (broken down into bite size chunks). Controllable/Actionable (something you can actually control or Take Action on – “I will Love my wife by cleaning the house” not just “I will love my wife”). And Positive (stated with positive outcomes).
5. Celebrate Achieved Goals! Celebration is a big part of goal setting. When you celebrate a goal reached, it tends to motivate you to want to achieve more!
Think about this: Spending time with your spouse is a great thing. Writing goals is a great thing. Combining the two – Well, that’s golden.
My Questions to you: What are your 5 steps to setting goals with your spouse? Leave them in the comments – I’d love to hear them!
photo by Scott wills, *GEL** and hurleygurley
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