Rejoice When They Rejoice

Maybe we should be more excited and happy for our spouses when they are happy.

Perhaps Paul new what he was talking about when he wrote: Be happy with those who are happy, and weep with those who weep – Rom 12.15!!!

Here is some great new research from the latest Scientific American Mind Magazine about new “Positive Psychology” research:

Psychology researchers have discovered that thriving couples accentuate the positive in life more than those who stay together unhappily or split do. They not only cope well during hardship but also celebrate the happy moments and work to build more bright points into their lives. – Suzann Pileggi, “The Happy Couple,” Scientific American Mind

Happy couples celebrate the good times. They truly celebrate with one another – they show enthusiasm when their spouse has a success. They don’t blow it off, or make light of it. They are genuinely happy – and I think more importantly – they show it. This goes hand in hand with the 30 day challenge my beautiful wife wrote about last Friday. Look for positive things to celebrate!!!

Here’s More from Scientific American:

In a study published in 2006 Gable and her coworkers videotaped dating men and women in the laboratory while the subjects took turns discussing a positive and negative event. After each conversation, members of each pair rated how ‘responded to’ – how understood, validated and cared for – they felt by their partner. Meanwhile observers rated the responses on how active-constructive (engaged and supportive ) they were – as indicated by intense listening, positive comments and questions, and the like. Low ratings reflected a more passive, generic response such as ‘That’s nice, honey.’ Separately, the couples evaluated their commitment to and satisfaction with the relationship.

The researchers found that when a partner proffered a supportive response to cheerful statements, the ‘responded to’ ratings were higher than they were after a sympathetic response to negative news, suggesting that how partners reply to good news may be a stronger determinant of relationship health than their reaction to unfortunate incidents. The reason for this finding, Gable surmises, may be that fixing a problem or dealing with a disappointment – though important for a relationship – may not make a couple feel joy, the currency of a happy pairing.”

Suzann Pileggi, “The Happy Couple,” Scientific American Mind, Jan/Feb 2010

Do you take time to really rejoice when your spouse rejoices? Or is it kinda “ho-hum”?
photo by Torley