Being Present in the Present

by Stu Gray on February 25, 2010

Mount Sinai Egypt

You must live in the present, launch yourself on every wave, find your eternity in each moment.” – Henry David Thoreau

I’m staring at my new Blackberry Curve sitting on my desk as I write this post.  I just got the thing 3 weeks ago.  My old blackberry started acting funny – deleting messages on its own and disconnecting from the network, so I couldn’t get calls.

Let’s be honest.  The call that mattered that I couldn’t get: the one from my Beautiful Wife™, wondering if I purchased the “correct” bread from Walmart. (Is there a “correct” bread?)

The Blackberry is always at my side.  Most times its in my hot little hand.  I like it for keeping up with great marriage blogs.

Being connected to the Blackberry all the time wouldn’t be an issue if I lived by myself.  But my life is also connected to my Beautiful Wife™ and kool kiddo.  He likes to play outside at every possible moment.  He’s 4, and with the crazy winter we’ve had, we figure its good to let him get out there as much as possible when it’s warm.

When we go outside to the cul-de-sac, we kick the ball, or ride the “red bike” , or bounce a ball, or play tag, or hide and seek, or ‘Dad-come-here-I-wanna-show-you-something’, and he displays the cleared out dirt patch for his cars under our tree.

If we are playing hide and seek, there are a good 2 minutes where I can take out the Blackberry and get a quick read in before he finds me.  Even when we play kickball, most times if I just kick the ball a little out of his reach, I am guaranteed about 45 more seconds of the crackberry.

‘Are you ever going to unplug from that thing?’ My Beautiful Wife™ asked, just a couple days ago. It was something she has said before, but this time something in me said – Hmm, maybe I should think about that.

Are you Present in the Present?

I’ve never been mountain climbing. I believe that if I ever did, I would have 2 thoughts:

    1. Don’t die. Don’t die Don’t die. Don’t die.  And
    2. How long til we get to the top?

When I made it to the top of the mountain I’d be thinking – ‘How am I going to get down from here in a way that doesn’t cause an avalanche?’

One of the guys in the Bible – Moses, got to climb a mountain and hang out with God.  Check this out in the book of Exodus:

And the Lord said to Moses, come up to me into the mountain and be there, and I will give you tables of stone, with the law and the commandments which I have written that you may teach them. (Exodus 24.12)

AND BE THERE.

I think those words are very important. If Moe was climbing the mountain…and thinking, “How long til the top” — He wasn’t present in the present.  If he’s at the top of the mountain and thinking, “How am I going to get down from here” — he wasn’t present in the present.

God says — Come up here AND BE HERE.  Hang out with me.  Be with me.  Be present in my presence.  ( I think its because Moe had to take some serious notes while he was up there – but still – God wanted him present with Him.  Not thinking about heading down the hill.)

Being Present.
Simple.
Not Easy.

I miss this a lot. I miss it with my son when we are outside playing and I am on the Blackberry.
I miss it with my wife when I am writing, and she is sitting in the other room waiting for me.
I miss it when I check out of a conversation with a friend, trying to remember what my wife said that I need to pick up at Walmart before I get home.  (Probably that bread again.)

How can we be Present in the Present? (A quick list)

1. Turn off Distractions.
2. Slow down.
3. Ask questions.
4. Lean in and make eye contact.
5. Breathe.

I want to give props where they are due…I originally heard thoughts about these verses about Moses from pastor and speaker Rob Bell!! He Rocks!

photo by leinsterman

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{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

Stu Gray February 26, 2010 at 3:20 am

Scott – Great phrase. “Watchfulness”. That is a good word. Really watching what is going on forces us to slow up and take it in. Something I need to do MUCH more often!!

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Stu Gray February 26, 2010 at 3:18 am

Hey Melissa! Thanks for the comment – this is a theme that keeps coming up in my life – it started when I really wanted to 'simplify' things around the house (ie. Clean up after the holidays) and I read this book “Slowing Down to the Speed Of Life” It talks of all of the types of situations you mention… and how our thoughts get going so fast, we miss the present totally…or get really stressed out. Sounds like you are on your way!!

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Scott February 26, 2010 at 2:35 am

I can be really bad at this. My brain is usually miles ahead of the rest of me. I'm constantly thinking about what needs yet to be done instead of enjoying the fruits of what has already been done. Slowing down and staying engaged in the present is a continual challenge for me. It's what I call the skill of watchfulness: being completely aware of all that's going on around you as well as tapping into what's going on inside you, being able to fully engage your senses and taking every though captive. It's a skill I'm a long way from mastering, even though I know of the great benefits to my own soul and the relationships in my life.

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Melissa Bungard February 25, 2010 at 3:55 pm

Someone who used to be very influential in my life once told me “Be conscious of the moment.” This post certainly made me think of that. A few years ago, I really started to work on putting this to practice. I learned that If I'm thinking about work while the hubs and I are together, I'm robbing him. If I'm at work and I'm thinking about dance, that's not productive. If I'm at dance and I'm thinking about work, I'm inevitably missing a beautiful moment. I've really spent time and effort making sure that I make the most of where I'm at. Furthermore, I try to set boundaries on where my focus and attention it spent. I'm not there…YET. But it seems like every year, I'm able to focus more and more on that exact moment in time.

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